Holidays often remind people of what was, the people who aren’t around anymore, and things that will never be. While they can be a wonderful time, many find the remembrance of loss a depressing part of the year. For those celebrating their first holiday after a divorce, that loss can become all too real.
It isn’t uncommon for divorcees finally coming to terms with their new lives to start feeling the pain of their separation resurface during these times. This is especially true when family law enters the picture, relying on legal aid like Dorie Rogers divorce attorney in OC to help with custody issues. If this sounds familiar, then here’s how to celebrate the holidays after divorce.
Validate Your Feelings
Trying to convince yourself that you don’t feel pain or loss isn’t going to work. Instead, ignoring the pain and loss is only going to make things worse. It’s vital that you validate these feelings and experience them. At the same time, tell yourself that you can and will get through this. While it is difficult, being honest with yourself will help you cope.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Emotional and relational health rely on boundaries within your interpersonal relationships. You may not want to attend specific gatherings this year, prefer that certain topics relating to the divorce aren’t discussed around the table, or make sure your extended family isn’t (for whatever reason) inviting your ex. Set whatever boundaries you need to help you remain stable.
Don’t Run Away from the Pain
The holidays are already an excellent excuse to drink too much, but feeling pain or loss can lead anyone to hit the bottle. Relying on alcohol, or drugs, to numb the pain isn’t doing you any favors. In fact, alcohol makes symptoms of depression worse. Plus, you don’t need a DUI on top of everything else.
Sometimes, it’s the old traditions that bring on negative emotions. There may be some you were never a fan of but went along with anyway because of your ex. So, why not ditch those nuisances in favor of some new traditions? There’s nothing wrong with replacing painful reminders of your divorce with something new, exciting, and joyful.
Focus on the Kids
Shifting your focus to ensuring your children have memorable holiday experiences can help alleviate some of your pain. That isn’t always possible, unfortunately, especially when custody battles are still raging on. If that is the case, hire expert legal aid like this Spanish speaking divorce lawyer at Edgar Family Law to help you out.
If none of the above seems to be working for you, try volunteering your time to those in need. Not only is this in the spirit of the holidays, but it’s an excellent way to take your mind off the divorce and onto something positive. Every community is filled with options from soup kitchens to food drives and so much more.