It can be a challenge to get criticism that can help us. The ego is something that operates within everyone. Self-worth and confidence enable people to get along in the world. So when criticism comes our way, a person tends to defend against it even if it is to help to improve his or her situation. Entrepreneur Shalom Lamm believes that feedback, both positive and negative, can help tremendously in us to do a better job or to correct a personality flaw.
There are good and bad ways to offer criticism. It seems obvious to all of us that we need to choose our words wisely. However, it’s surprising when it comes to offering feedback that often comes with a personality dig or something of that nature. So choosing the right words is vitally important.
Think about what you say before you say it. It can be difficult especially when something negative is said or done to you. It’s only natural to lash out. Anyway, think about what you want to say. Take a minute to clear your head and think of the word mild. Say, “I will be mild”. This positive affirmation works. Try it, it works.
The idea here is to have a positive mindset when offering criticism or with anything for that matter. Positive attitudes draw positive results. It has been proven that people with a positive mind have more favorable things happen to them in their life. Ok, proceed on with the mild attitude. This makes it easier for the person receiving the criticism to take it in.
The tone of voice is always a good way to start. A gruff accusing voice is never palatable. One with low but firm tones is always easier to handle. Now here’s where it gets touchy. A mild tone is good, but a firm voice that gets the point across is what is needed. After all, what’s the point of feedback if it’s not taken seriously.
One thing Shalom Lamm strongly encourages for people offering feedback, is to stay away from making feedback too personal. A dig at a person’s personality is never helpful. If anything while you’re giving the feedback includes comments about what the person does wonderfully. Again still be assertive and firm about what you want to let them know.
Of course, if the person you’re giving the feedback to has a negative mindset, then sometimes no amount of positive attitude is going to make a difference. Negative-minded people will take it negatively. Go ahead anyway, because if the informational criticism you’re giving them exposes some serious personality flaws there is nothing you can do to change a person’s mind.
If this is the case you just have to grin and bear it. Offering criticism is better than not offering it. Most of the time after a person calms down from receiving the feedback they think about and make the necessary changes.